“Protecting Your Marriage” by David Coggin
1 Peter 5:8-9 “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”
Maybe on paper, this is not one of the most encouraging verses in the Bible, but I think it is because it gives us a warning to be aware and on alert. You see, I believe the devil comes after those that are seeking the Lord. He will try to get us to stumble and fall and he will try to cause division in our marriage. As months and years shape a marriage you have to be on guard and not let distractions come in-between you and your spouse. The devil will try to give us so many distractions that, if we are not careful, can cause pain. So how do you avoid those distractions? How do you continue to have purity in your marriage and ensure your heart belongs to only one person?
Forgive me but I am going to use the remaining part of this article to reflect on some ideas that men can use to stay focused and committed to their wives. Again these are things I have learned from my own experience. Maria and I have been married for almost 25 years and I have not always been perfect. I’ve made mistakes along the way, but I am hopefully a better husband than I was 15 and 20 years ago, as God keeps molding me into the man /husband he calls me to be.
As Paul writes in Philippians 3:12, “not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” In the same way as Paul, I strive to be the man that God calls me to be in my community, workplace, and most importantly in the home.
One of the ways you can do this is to have eyes and hearts for only your wife. Yes it is hard with the media and the world telling you otherwise but as it said in scripture do not conform to this world but be transformed to the renewing of your mind. That renewing is a daily practice.
Below are a list of ways you can implement this into your life:
- Date your wife. Do not be too busy or say “after the children grow up.” Make time now.
- Text each other during the day.
- Go on walks together (or whatever activity you enjoy).
- Have no secrets about your life from your spouse.
- Share your passwords (phone, computer and other devices) with your wife.
- Never meet with a woman in private. Always meet in a public setting.
- If you are friends and checking in on someone, include your wife in the text.
- Have Godly men that you can talk to and pray with.
- Always work on making your wife your best friend.
- Have no secrets (did I say that before, yes I did and it needs repeating).
- Do not be too busy or take each other for granted.
- Never give your wife reason to guess where you are. If your schedule changes or you’ll be late, let her know.
- Remember when you say yes to something outside of your regular work schedule, you are saying no to your wife and no to your family. When you say no to something you are saying yes to your family and they will remember. Yes sometimes you have to be away but make it a rare occasion and not a regular occasion.
- Say sorry and mean it.
- Be creative. Come up with fun activities to do together.