Twenty-five years ag
o I got engaged to Maria in Chester-le-Street, England after only dating for twenty-eight days. We knew each other for a little bit longer than that, but it still was outside of what was considered “normal.” I was from Tennessee and working for a church in England, but was thinking about moving back to the states, however, there was something besides work that was keeping me in the UK—Maria. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other while I was over there and when we got engaged, there were doubts from people about if this relationship would work out because we were different people from different cultures and countries. The textbook answers to this equation were not necessarily in our favor, but we were committed. As Maria says, to be committed is to forgive and to forgive a lot. Forgiveness is not just a one time thing. If a person repents and tries to change then the Bible tells us to forgive.
As Colossians 3:12-13 says 12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
You see it should be easy to forgive our spouse because Christ forgives us for our mistakes. Yes Maria has had to forgive me a lot more times than I have had to forgive her (because she is almost perfect) but it is not about keeping score it is about commitment and forgiveness. Yes it is hard sometimes because sometimes we feel hurt or have been hurt by the person we love the most. Sometimes it is easy to forgive and other times it may take longer.
An important thing to remember is that all marriages face storms of life. Please read that again. No marriage is perfect and I have never met anyone who said marriage is easy. Sometimes we think the couple that has been married for fifty years have had no problems, but the truth is that they have weathered many storms. Some storms just happen and other times they can be created from bad choices. But it is always important to remember that those bad choices do not have to define you, or your marriage. With Christ at the center of your marriage, He will enable you to forgive and be more like him in forgiving your spouse. With Christ at the center, your marriage can be stronger than ever!